This mama bear had been poked. He had pushed the wrong button by removing my son. You could say the ‘bitch switch’ was now flipped and there was no stopping me. I would stop at nothing to ensure my sons safe and speedy return to me.
I spent the night my son was absent from me in tears, wondering where he was and if he was safe. He had never slept away from home so I was sure he was scared and unsure of this strange environment he had been placed into so abruptly. There was no sleep happening on my end so first thing in the morning when businesses opened, I was on the phone with an attorney. Who would know my husband’s tricks inside and out? Who would be able to utilize previous case history like a champion? None other than the attorney who represents the mother of his daughter. I contacted the attorney’s office, spoke to the receptionist, let him know who I was and that I was hoping to speak to the attorney. I was dismissed at first due to the ill relationship my husband has with this law firm; until I notified the receptionist that my husband had taken my son from me the previous night and I had no idea where he had gone, I was looking for help. I had an appointment set that morning to meet with the attorney. Separation paperwork was drafted up and a Restraining Order was filed against him, seeking protection for my son and I. I was told that the Restraining Order would take some time to process and I would be notified if a Temporary Restraining Order was granted by the judge. It was done, my marriage was over, now I needed to protect myself and my son from retaliation.
I left the attorneys office around noon, arriving home to find him home, with our son. I ran around the house looking for my son, finding him upstairs sitting next to my bed as he was getting dressed, just out of the shower. I picked my son up in a rush of emotion and brought him downstairs, taking his photo and sharing it with family, notifying them that he was safe with me. My mother stayed in contact with the attorney during this time as we did not want him to know of our meeting, the Separation of Marriage and the Restraining Order being filed. He monitored my phone so it was pertinent he did not know what was coming and take off again with our son in tow.
I stayed home from work for the remainder of my work week, notifying my superior of the recent events. I was not going to leave him alone with our son for an extended period of time. I was terrified he would pack the important items and be gone when I arrived home from work. We did little to no talking, only speaking if it was about our son. We watched each other like hawks, never leaving one another alone with our son. I stayed in constant contact with my attorney, who was advising me to leave the home with my son and head somewhere safe, but I was too scared to leave. He would find me, he would take my son and concoct such an outrageous story to law enforcement and the courts that I felt I would never survive.
I was notified that the Temporary Restraining Order was granted and that Law Enforcement would be arriving at our home to serve him the order along with an order to vacate the property until the hearing. He allowed me to leave the home, taking our son on a walk around the neighborhood in his stroller. My plan was to leave and have him gone upon my return. No such luck, I stayed away from the home for a good hour, leaving what I thought was plenty of time for officers to arrive, serve him and get him out. When I thought it was safe to return, I walked around the corner to find him still in the garage, none the wiser. I went about my day, guarding my son. I put the baby to bed and laid awake all night in bed listening. He stayed in the garage till the early morning and went to sleep on the couch.
When I awoke the next morning, I was now on day two with no real sleep and I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I got ready for the day and headed downstairs to prepare our sons breakfast before he woke up. He was still sleeping on the couch and was awaken by me tending to the dogs and making breakfast. He headed upstairs to shower and change. I knew that today was the day he was going to be served. I knew that today was the last day I would ever be in the same home with him. I knew that today was the last day I would have to be victim to his gaslighting, manipulation and narcissistic attacks.
I was in the kitchen feeding our son lunch, there was a knock on our front door. It was Law Enforcement, it was time. I answered the door, the male officer asked me who I was and I confirmed. He requested that I leave the home with my son during this process so I grabbed some toys and the remainder of our lunch and we were escorted to a park nearby. As I walked from the home, I could hear that several other officers had already made contact with him in the garage. He was already arguing, claiming that the home was his, that he works from home and this is where he conducts business. My son and I sat in the park for what seemed like hours while he was allowed to pack what he could and fill his truck. As he drove away, I felt a sense of relief, I felt scared and I felt angry. I could breathe, yet I was now alone in this motherhood thing and I was mad at myself. Mad for not seeing the signs sooner, mad for allowing it to get this bad. The first couple of nights, alone in the house with my son were probably some of the hardest. I cried, a lot. I stared at my son, playing on the floor with his toys, wondering if I had just ruined his childhood. I questioned my ability as a mother, could I do this alone? I did a lot of second guessing of whether or not I had done the right thing and I was beginning to feel guilty.
“Making a big life change is pretty scary… But… Know whats even scarier? REGRET”-Rudraksh Parey